


You Deserve Better

by socksandsandels



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Break Up, Exy (All For The Game), F/M, Happy Ending, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:13:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24545968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/socksandsandels/pseuds/socksandsandels
Summary: Andrew had always told Neil that whatever "this" was meant nothing but Neil had never believed him before. Except now Andrew is graduating and Neil knows that if their going to work long distance then they both have to try harder. But will Andrew finally be able to tell Neil what he means to him or will he keep denying till there is nothing left?Or: It's Andrews last year at Palmetto and he is about to go pro. Neil asks him to acknowledge what is between them and try harder so they work long distance. But Andrew thinks Neil deserved better then him.
Relationships: Katelyn/Aaron Minyard, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first fic and sorry if it's like really bad. But honestly I love the All for the Game series and love reading and writing about Andrew and Neil. So enjoy or not if it's dreadful to read. :)

It started 2 weeks before Andrew and the rest of his lot except Neil were to graduate. Neil and Andrew were up on the roof both with a cigarette in hand. Andrew smoking his and Neil just letting the ash fall. They had spent every day this week up on the roof when they were off between practices and classes but had yet to talk about the inevitable. Kevin and Wymack have been bugging Andrew for the past months to pick a team that he had offers from. But Andrew couldn’t decide, it’s not that he cares about exy because he cares about nothing. He doesn’t even know if he wants to go pro but he knows Neil wants him to. Suddenly his thoughts are interrupted when Neil starts talking.

“We have to talk about it” Neil said staring straight ahead 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Andrew knew exactly what Neil was talking about but he felt like it was difficult today.

“ Come on, can you just try and take this seriously and have a conversation with me.” Andrew just gazed at him boredly

“ Fine, i'll just talk.” Neil turned his gaze to look directly into hazel eyes. “In the next two weeks your going to graduate and then it will be summer and we might have a great summer. We could just spend time in the house at Columbia or we could go on a road trip somewhere. But that doesn’t matter because at the end you're going to have to leave and I'm going to have to stay here. You could do whatever you want, you know that I want you to go pro but it’s your decision in the end. While you're gone we have to talk and we have to find ways to communicate which I know we're both not very good at but that’s what it’s going to have to take. We have to make a way to have this work.”

Andrew took out and lit another cigarette while thinking about Neil’s words. Of course he knew that he had to make a decision and that he and Neil had to find a way to make things work. But all of that made him scared and he wasn’t going to admit that.

“There is no this.” Andrew said flatly pointing between the two of them

“Are you serious, we're back to this again. I thought you said you never lied.” Andrew could tell that Neil was starting to get angry and he knew that he should stop pushing. He was thinking of what to say to calm Neil down when Neil jumped to his feet and his icy blue eyes looked directly into Andrew’s hazel.

“Andrew I can’t do this. I can’t deal with you every single second saying whatever is fucking between us is nothing. If you’re not going to put any effort into this then i’m done.” Neil stated. 

Andrew knew what he should say he should tell Neil that he’s never cared about anything except Neil and that what they have is not nothing but everything. Except he can't. He doesn't know why but he just can’t. Maybe it’s because he shouldn’t have let himself get this attached to someone. Because Neil doesn’t deserve someone like him Neil deserves so much better. So he does what he thinks will save Neil.  
“ Okay.” Andrew says looking away from Neil’s eyes.  
“Okay?” Neil asks and Andrew's heart shatters when he hears Neil’s voice break above him.  
Andrew accepts Neil to just walk away but he just stares at Andrew waiting for him to say something else. After a minute his patience must have worn out he throws his cigarette right beside Andrew not bothering to stomp it out and walks inside.


	2. Chapter 2

Neil shouldn’t be surprised he knows that. Andrew had always said that he wants nothing, he is nothing and that what was between them was nothing. But Neil had never actually believed him; he knew that when Andrew would say I hate you it meant that he hated how he actually cared about Neil. But maybe he had it wrong the whole time, maybe Neil was delusional and Andrew really believed that “this” was nothing. 

Once he walked through the door out of the roof he fell to the floor. How could he be so stupid. His mother always told him to never get attached to anyone or anything. And here was breaking every rule his mother had ever set she would be so disappointed. 

It takes every muscle in Neil’s body to holster himself up. He thinks about going back to the dorm. But he can’t go back because then he will have to look at the room he shares with Andrew and Kevin who will both be gone next year. Then he will have to look at the bed Andrew and him share. Then what will he do when Andrew comes back or when Nicky tries to talk to him. He just can’t so he does the only thing he knows how to do he runs.

Neil does not bother to bring a jacket, his wallet, or his phone he just runs. He lets his legs take him wherever and barely registers what’s going on around him. He doesn’t know how long he runs for but soon hears thunder and it starts to rain. He knows he should go back now but he just can't. He can't go back and face reality. Next year he will be all alone. The girls left a while ago and then Matt and now everyone else is leaving. He’s going to be captain and face all the new freshmen alone. And now he won’t even have Andrew to talk to because apparently there was never anything between them. He can’t go back so he starts again and runs farther away.

....

Andrew doesn’t want to go back down to the dorms; he never wants to leave this roof. He doesn’t want to look into the ocean of Neil’s eyes and see him hurt. But he couldn’t avoid his life forever and it was starting to rain. So he takes one last puff of his 4th cigarette tonight, stomps it out and stands to go back down to the dorms. 

When he enters, Nicky and Aaron are playing video games and Kevin is watching exy matches on his laptop.

“Andrew you're back!” Nicky exclaims without taking his eyes off the screen. When Andrew closes the door Nicky looks at him and then an expression of worry takes over his face.

“Wait where's Neil?” Nicky says stopping Andrew in his tracks.

“How would I know I’m not his keeper.” Andrew said, glaring at his cousin. 

“But..” Nicky started but quickly thought better to keep quiet and turned back to the screen.

Andrew was slightly concerned about where Neil was because Nicky said he hadn’t seen him so he didn’t come back to the dorm. He also probably wouldn’t be with the younger foxes because he doesn’t talk to them if not necessary or exy related. He thought about taking his Maserati and going to look for him but Neil wasn’t his problem anymore and he would be better off without Andrew. So he laid back in his bunk and stopped thinking.

....

Neil could see the sky starting to darken so he made his way back to Fox Tower. He didn’t want to go home but it’s not like he could go anywhere else. He had told the FBI he was done running and his face and story had already been plastered across the news so he wouldn’t make it far. 

When he got back it had been dark for a while so he hoped Andrew was asleep. But when he walked into the room he could tell by the slight rise and fall off his chest and his tense shoulders that he was awake. Feeling Andrews gaze on him he quickly grabbed clothes and rushed to the bathroom to change. He stayed in there for longer than necessary but eventually came out.

Out of reflex Neil almost walked over to lay in Andrews bunk but stopped himself. Instead he climbed up the ladder to the bunk where he hadn’t slept in almost a year. He and Andrew had started sleeping in the same bed at the begging of this year. Whenever Neil had a nightmare they would usually end up in the same place anyway so sleeping together was just more convenient. If Andrew had a nightmare he would stay up the rest of the night smoking so Neil would either join him or go back to bed to give him space.

While climbing into his bunk he figured that this would at least give him practice for next year when Neil would be alone. With that thought he fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Andrew had barely slept the night before, or the night after that, and after that or any night for that week after Neil said that he was done and Andrew had let him walk away.

The whole week Andrew had felt everyone’s gazes in him and Neil. They were barely talking to each other and the only time they spent together was driving to practices. Everyone knew something was off with them even the younger foxes and freshmen. But no one dared to talk to them about it well except Nicky. The only time he brought it up with Andrew, the shorter man had pulled out one of his blades . Nicky stopped talking about the subject after that.

Andrew had thought about going up to Neil and telling him to stay. About telling him that Andrew didn’t know what love was and didn’t know if we would ever feel it. But that what he felt with Neil was the closest he would ever get to it. But that was selfish and went against all the rules Andrew had ever set for himself. 

So he let the distance grow between them and tried to forget Neil was there, which would never work. Not with Neil’s piercing blue eyes and the way his auburn hair blew in the wind. He had never hated Neil so much.

Andrew was learning to live in his own self wallow where everyone left him alone but that was all going to change. Since it was a week before graduation all the older foxes were flying out today. He knew that the upperclassmen wouldn’t stay out of their business and would try to pry answers in what happened with Neil and Andrew. He was dreading their visit. The only good thing he thought was the he might get a few sparring matches in with Renne. 

...

Neil tried to be excited about the girls and Matt’s visit he really did but he couldn’t get Andrew out of his mind. He had not seen all the upperclassmen since this summer on their yearly trip. It was a few hours before they were set to get here and Neil was stuck replaying what happened to them on the rooftop over and over. He wished he had never said he was done. What was he expecting? For Andrew to tell him to stay. That would never happen and he didn’t know why he thought it would up on the roof a week ago. 

On the bright side at least when the upperclassmen arrive they might distract him and give his mind something else to think about. But they were all here for Andrews graduation so that wouldn’t help and who was he kidding they would notice something was off with him and Andrew then try to pry into it. But what was the point of dreading on things that were yet to happen he would deal with that stuff when it happened.

Allison and Rennes' flight was supposed to get in first and Andrew and Neil we’re supposed to pick them up. Neil wished that they could at least bring along Nicky or Kevin so he wouldn’t have to be alone on the ride there but then there wouldn’t have been enough space. So at 1:00 Andrew and Neil left the dorm and got into the masriati to head to the airport. It was not uncommon for Neil and Andrew to ride in the car without talking but it was always a comfortable silence. This car trip they sat in silence but the air all around them was tense. So when they arrived at the airport Neil was beyond grateful. 

Neil kept in touch with all the original final foxes that had graduated. So he knew that Renee had been working with the peace corps and Allison had been working on some sports fashion line. They sat in the car for about 10 minutes before Allison texted him and said that she was picking up her bags. 

Looking over at Andrew Neil said, “I’m going to go find Allison and Renee.”

“Are you looking for my permission.” Andrew said, not bothering to look over at Neil.

Neil didn’t respond. He turned to look at Andrew one more time seeing no emotion on his face and got out of the car. Neil walked into the airport and quickly spotted Allison and Renne. Renne's hair looked less vibrant probably because she hadn’t re dyed it in a while. To busy keeping peace in the world. Allison looked like her normal self wearing a flattering dress and heels that made his feet hurt by just looking at them. As soon as they spotted him they came over. Alison engulfed him into a hug.

“Neil! it’s so good to see you.” she said finally letting Neil go.

“I’m glad we’re together again.” Renne said calmly squeezing his shoulder.

“So where’s the monster.” Allison asked. Neil just glared at her. He hated that they called Andrew a monster because he was the farthest thing from it. Allison rolled her eyes then said, “Fine where's Andrew?” 

“He’s in the car”

“Well then lead the way”

The whole entire car ride Allison talked about what she had been doing since summer. Neil and Renne chimed in sometimes to add their opinions and keep the car from sinking into uncomfortable silence.

Neil was glad that Matt and Dan were taking an Uber to leave the airport. He didn’t think he could face another awkward car drive.


	4. Dinner pt.1

Abby had insisted that they all had dinner at her house the night all the foxes got into town. Betsy was supposed to be there. Andrew had missed their weekly session this week, so Betsy didn't know about what had happened with Neil. Maybe he could talk about it with her tonight. 

Kevin, Aaron, Nicky, Neil, and him were all in the Maserati headed on their way to Abby’s house. Matt and Dan went straight there after their flight, and Andrew dropped Renne and Allison off earlier today. 

When they arrived they all got out of the car and walked into the house.

….

When Neil walked in he was overwhelmed by a feeling of nostalgia seeing all the people that had let him stay. Even after he had lied to them and even though with staying he brought a possibility of danger to all of them. This moment would have been perfect if it weren't for Andrew and him. 

For some reason during this perfect moment where he was surrounded by all the people that loved him and all the people that he loved. His mind kept straying back to that moment on the rooftop. 

But then his mind wasn't on the rooftop; it was seeing his mom in the passenger seat clinging to the last strands of her life. Telling him to stay on the run, telling him to never look back, to never trust anyone. But here he was, he had stopped running, he had stayed in one place, and he had trusted everyone in this house especially Andrew. But now everything was over with Andrew and everything that he thought was between them was all made up.

He could hear his mother

“Neil”

“Neil”

“Neil”

But wait why would his mom be calling him Neil. He heard the chants of his name as he tried to open his eyes. He finally managed to pry them open and he took in his surroundings. He was on the ground and Andrew, Abby, and Betsy were kneeled next to him making sure not to touch him. The other foxes and Wymack stood up trying to keep their distance.

….

Andrew could tell right when Neil’s panic attack started. Over the past 4 year he had learned to read Neil better than he could probably read himself. So when everyone turned to greet them and he saw Neil start to shake and breath shorten, he knew what was happening. 

“Hey Guys!” The foxes chimed oblivious to the state Neil was in.

Usually Andrew would have grabbed the back of Neil’s neck to bring him back to himself. That was something Neil said was “always a yes” between them. But now things had changed. There was no them so he didn't know the rules, and he would never touch Neil without his permission. Andrew had no clue on what to do.

“Oh my god! Neil I missed you so much!” Matt said coming around the corner walking towards Andrew and Neil. Aaron, Kevin and Nicky had already dispersed from the front door. 

“Stay back.” Andrew said in a firm tone that caught everyone in the house's attention.

“What’s wrong?” Abby said coming out of the kitchen into the front hallway with Bee besides her. 

They all knew the signs of a panic attack and when they both took in Neil"s state they bent down beside Neil where Andrew was already at his side, making sure not to touch him. The foxes then gathered around him making sure to keep distance.

It took about 2 minutes for Neil to regain his surroundings and open his eyes.

“I'm sorry, I'm fi “ Neil started but Andrew interrupted him.

“Don’t say your fine.” Andrew couldn't believe this junkie at every moment trying to convince everyone that he was fine.

“But I really am, I'm sorry.” Neil said getting up. Andrew noticed that his hands were still slightly shaking.

“Don’t apologize.” Abby said 

“I really am okay guys, can we just kinda move on.”

“Yeah, yeah come on guys. Dan said, grabbing Matt.

“Foods almost ready I made spaghetti.” Abby said and the rest of the foxes filtered off throughout the rest of the house. 

Before Neil made his way off Andrew said, “ What were you thinking about?”

Neil turned around towards him, “Why do you care, it’s not like you have to protect me anymore.” Then Neil walked away.

Andrew didn’t want to care but it was so obvious that Neil was not fine. He knew that when he let Neil walk away it had wrecked both of them. He hated that it bothered him and he hated that he cared that it bothered Neil. Or maybe he just hated Neil


	5. Dinner pt. 2

Despite Neil's panic attack at the beginning, dinner was going pretty well. Neil was currently in Abby’s living room talking to Dan and Matt about their lives. After Matt's last year at palmetto he went on to play pro with the New York Knights. Dan went on to coach a highschool exy team. 

“So how are you doing Neil?’ Matt asked

“I’m,’ Neil was going to say fine but thought better of it, ‘not doing great.”

“Why?” Dan asked. Matt and Dan both had a look of concern on their faces.

“I guess I’m just nervous to be alone next year. Everyone else will be gone and then I’ll have to face the new freshman alone as their captain. I just don’t know if I can do it.

“Neil, you are one of the strongest, most amazing people any of us know. And as your former captain I know that you will be a great one even if no one else is here.”

“And you're never alone, all of us are always there for you. Especially me as your best friend.” Matt said squeezing Neil’s shoulders.

Neil smiled, it was a genuine smile. Maybe at this moment he could be happy.

“So how are you and Andrew.” And there went his happiness. He didn't want to tell anyone what had happened on the rooftop because that meant it was real. How was he to go about saying, ‘Oh me and Andrew, yeah I ruined that by being the idiot I am and expecting him to say something that he obviously never would.’ 

But before he could answer.

“Dinners ready, come sit down.” Yelled Wymack

He had dodged a bullet.

….

After Neil left Andrew in the hallway he went into the kitchen. If he was going to have to be around all these people at least he could find something to eat. In the kitchen was Betsy and Abby making dinner. Kevin and Wymack were in the corner talking about something, probably exy. He went straight to the freezer, found a pint of ice cream, got a spoon, then sat at the table and ate his ice cream.

“You're going to spoil your dinner.” Betsy said going to sit in a chair opposite of him. 

Andrew just glared at her but Betsy wasn’t phased.

“So how are you doing?”

“This isn’t one of our sessions Bee.” Andrew said. He was now almost done with his pint of ice cream.

“Okay then I’m not asking as your therapist I’m asking as your friend.”

“That’s still not very professional Bee.”

“I can tell somethings bothering you. You don't have to talk to me now but feel free to schedule one more session before you leave.”

Andrew didn’t respond but he knew Bee would understand that he heard.

“I’m very proud of you.” Bee said before turning back to continue cooking with Abby. Andrew just sat there scraping the last bits of ice cream into his mouth. There was only one week before graduation and he thought it would be good for himself if he did schedule another session with Bee. Maybe she could help him think of something decides Neil before he was off into the world. 

“Dinners ready, come sit down.” Wymack called.

He would think about everything later.

….

Neil sat down between Matt and Allison, Andrew was across from him sitting next to Renne and Kevin. When Kevin sat down by Andrew and Neil sat by Matt they received a couple of weird looks but no one said anything. 

Most of the dinner was spent with Kevin talking about exy or the upperclassmen filling everyone in on what's been happening since the last time they were all together. Neil was contempt to just listen to their voices and give input when asked. 

Until Allison whispered in his ear, “What's with you and Andrew?”

“What do you mean.”

“Come on, whenever you guys are the same room your constantly eye fucking but now you aren't even sitting next to each other, or looking at each other.”

Neil was slightly surprised about how observant Allison was, but then again it was Allison and what isn't she good at.

He didn’t know how to put into words what had happened between Andrew and him it seemed like way more than a break up. It felt like a part of him was ripped out and he would never be complete again. But he didn’t want to seem over dramatic.

Turning back around to face Allison he whispered into her ear, “I think we broke up.” It felt hard admitting it. It felt like now that he had said it, it was all real. 

“I’m sorry Neil, I know how much he meant to you.” She turned around in her chair to hug Neil.

The rest of their conversation had not caught anyone else's attention but her sudden hug had. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Nicky asked.

“Nothing.” Allison said, turning back to finish her meal.

Neil figured that that was the end of the conversion until about a minute later.

She turned to whisper in his ear again, “You can do better than the monster.”

Neil knew that no one had ever understood their relationship, and he had heard many different whispers about how Neil could do better. But Neil knew he would never find someone as respecting, amazing, and understanding as Andrew. Neil knew that he would never trust another person like he had trusted Andrew. 

….

The dinner was pretty awful.

He was surrounded by people talking about exy and what they had done throughout the year. He truly couldn’t give a shit.

He had finished his dinner early and zoned out the rest of the time. His thoughts were mostly occupied by dessert. He remembered in the kitchen Bee and Abby were talking about cake. He could definitely go for a cake. 

Even though this dinner was extremely boring at least no one had brought up anything about him and Neil. Oh shit. He told himself he wouldn’t think about Neil but now that he had brought him up it was like his mind couldn’t stop thinking about him.

“When’s dessert.” Andrew asked. It was the first words he had spoken since they started eating. 

“You're about to go pro, you really shouldn’t be eating any sugar.” Kevin said. Andrew gave him a deathly glare. 

“Well probably when everyone has finished their food.” Abby replied. 

“Call me when that happens.” With that Andrew got up and went out to the back porch. He needed to smoke.

….

“Now that he's gone, what's going on between you two?’ Nicky said pointing between Neil and the door where Andrew had walked out, ‘I asked Andrew earlier and he pulled a knife out on me.”

Allison turned to look at him with wide eyes. Neil didn't know what to say.

“I don't really know.” Neil said looking down to avoid everyone else's eyes.

“What do you mean you don’t know. You and Andrew have been acting like strangers all week.” Aaron spit out.

“So what, why do you care.” Neil spat out right back to him looking straight into his eyes.

“I don’t.” Aaron said looking away from Neil’s harsh gaze.

“Alright guys, calm down, and gossip at a different time.” Wymack said, causing the tension in the room to dissipate.

….

Andrew got through 2 cigarettes before Renne came out and sat next to him. 

“Deserts ready, Abby made chocolate cake.

So Andrew was right, his memory had never failed him before even when he wished it had. 

Andrew nodded in acknowledgment while finishing his cigarette.

“It’s good to see you.” Renne said.

Andrew didn’t respond again.

“They were talking about you and Neil in there.” 

Andrew wasn’t surprised. What were the foxes if not for nosy. He had managed to keep his lot and the baby foxes to stay out of their business. But the upperclassmen truly had no boundaries or any common sense. 

“What did he say.” Andrew wondered how much information Neil would say. Or maybe he still didn’t know exactly what had happened and thought Neil could clarify it.

“Maybe you should ask him.” Renne replied. Andrew turned to glare at her.

“I know you don’t want to hear this but I really am proud of you Andrew, of everything you’ve done. I think your future will be great regardless of what you chose to do. I will always have you in my heart and be praying that your life doesn’t get any harder than it needs to.”

Andrew thought it was weird two people had said they were proud of him today. But what had he done to be proud of? He had broken Neil's heart and written off the past 4 years that they had spent together. He didn’t think that was something to be very proud of.

“Save your prayers for yourself Renne.” Andrew said, stomping out his cigarette, he then walked inside. This cake better be fucking good.

….

The rest of the night, Neil spent it talking about exy and his plans as captain with Kevin and Wymack. Or talking about where they should spend summer with Matt, Alison, Dan, and Renne No one bothered bringing up Andrew again. Before he knew it the night was over and he was back into the passenger seat of the Maserati. Thinking about how many more awkward car drives he could handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the support <3
> 
> I'll be honest I had no idea how to write the whole Bee and Andrew dynamic, so sorry if some part were rushed. :(
> 
> Also I probably have about 3 chapters left and then it will be complete. :)


End file.
